What Is Sober Curious?

For the past several years, the idea of mindful drinking has been a growing movement. Sometimes referred to as “sober curious,” mindful drinking isn’t necessarily the search for complete sobriety, but instead the exploration of one’s alcoholic beverage choices. Sober curious individuals intentionally consider the frequency of their alcohol consumption and the benefits of reducing or eliminating it in their personal lives.

However, a person who feels the need to be mindful of their drinking habits isn’t the same as someone who has an alcohol use disorder (AUD). If you have an AUD, you need medical care to help you enter recovery. Sober curiosity is particularly popular with millennials and Gen Z because of their high interest in health and wellness trends.

This guide is for you if you want to learn more about:

• Why people enter a sober curious phase
• How being sober curious differs from both abstinence and recovery
• What sober lifestyle benefits exist
• What challenges come with alcohol-free living
• What support options are available if you’re interested

The prevalence of the sober curious movement created numerous support communities and resources for people seeking the lifestyle. You can seek community or professional guidance to help you get started, and PsyWeb support is in-depth, should you need a stronger foundation.

“Sober curious” is aptly termed. It’s an opportunity to tap into that inner child who’s always asking questions, but turn them to the very adult theme of why you drink and whether its impact on your life bears thoughtful consideration. Many who explore sober curiosity do so without looking to make a permanent change in their drinking habits. Instead, they usually plan to reduce alcohol for a period of time, often for health reasons.

Being sober curious may also lead to complete alcohol abstinence. Many who experiment with different levels of sober curious habits find that they can replace drinking alcohol with healthier lifestyle choices. It’s not the same as entering sobriety, because those who can test out sober curiosity are usually not addicted to or dependent on alcohol.

For anyone who meets the criteria for an AUD, attempting a sober curious lifestyle can be dangerous. Withdrawal symptoms can be severe enough to require hospitalization and emergency care. If you have an AUD, you should seek rehab treatment instead.

Ruby Warrington is an editor and author of the book Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol. Warrington is also the editor and author of the follow-up workbook, The Sober Curious Reset: Change the Way You Drink in 100 Days or Less. The publishing of Sober Curious in 2018 is credited with both coining the phrase and pioneering the movement.

We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life by Laura McKowen and Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol by Holly Whitaker boosted the movement in 2020 and 2021, respectively.

In a time when information overload is high and overall health is poor due to factors like stress, unhealthy food choices and sedentary lifestyles, many are turning to sober curious as a way to regain control of their lives. The reported benefits of a sober curious lifestyle appeal to many seeking ways of socializing and self-care that forego the effects of alcohol.

Studies show that swapping even occasional alcohol use for being sober curious can lead to:

• Improved physical and mental health
• Better sleep quality
• Increased energy levels
• Reduced anxiety and mood issues
• Decreased expenses from not purchasing alcohol
• Greater productivity

Social media influencers, especially those of the wellness variety, encourage followers to try alcohol-free challenges. Dry January has long been popular — a way to recover from a holiday season full of alcohol-fueled celebrations. Dry July, Sober September and Sober October have joined the challenge list as an easy way for tracking your new foray into being sober curious.

Young adults lean toward abstaining or moderating alcohol consumption, which is a shift from societal attitudes of older generations when it comes to drinking culture. As social events cut alcoholic options and focus on healthier relationships and environments, many appreciate waking up without hangovers or other negative effects from substance use.

Sober curious, sobriety and recovery may be confusing terms, but the differences in these three types of alcohol-free living matter. It’s important to note that starting with sober curiosity can lead to sobriety or recovery based on what you uncover along the way.

Being sober curious is a lifestyle choice that’s exploratory and self-guided. You set your own boundaries around your alcohol intake, and you can adjust those as needed. It’s similar to people who decide to experiment with alternative dietary patterns, such as being gluten-free or sugar-free, vegetarian, pescatarian, vegan or anything in between. Instead of playing around with Meatless Mondays, you might choose Sober September.

Sobriety is abstaining from alcohol altogether. It lacks the flexibility of being sober curious, but those who choose sober living may do so for varied reasons. It can stem from many factors, including sober curiosity, religious beliefs, health goals and personal growth.

Recovery is the most official of the three terms. It has a greater structure and is usually implemented because of addiction. Recovering involves working with a team of professionals to wean yourself off alcohol, develop strategies for coping with cravings and examine your drinking with behavioral therapy and support groups.

People who reduce or cease drinking note several benefits to their health and well-being. Even giving your brain a short break from alcohol use has proven advantages, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Your sleep improves almost instantly, and you’re less likely to end up involved in accidents, among other situations. It may also reduce your chances of high blood pressure and liver disease.

The health benefits of sober curiosity include:

• Clearer mental capacity
• Regulated emotions
• Healthier skin, digestion and immune system
• Improved relationships
• Enhanced self-awareness
• Intentional connections when socializing

Of course, choosing a sober curious lifestyle isn’t a perfect solution. It comes with obstacles just like other lifestyle changes. Your customary socialization habits and environment may take a while to adjust to the changes, or you may look for different places and groups as part of your new lifestyle.

Challenges of sober curiosity and alcohol-free socializing can look like:

• Social pressure from peers to have a drink
• Feelings of discomfort or unwelcome in a culture that focuses on drinking
• Difficulty finding non-alcoholic beverages at an event, restaurant or bar
• Inability to locate sober-friendly spaces for socializing
• Emotional triggers or unprocessed trauma bubbling up

These are everyday experiences of the sober curious, and you can get through much of this with help from like-minded communities. Speaking with a counselor or therapist about your struggles can also help. You can’t change how others feel about your choices or view your lifestyle, but you can work on redirecting your attention to why you decided to become sober curious.

When you find yourself in an unfriendly environment, and it isn’t warming up, remember that leaving what doesn’t work for you can be a good option. As you grow in sober curiosity, you may discover additional coping mechanisms, such as brushing off negativity, always bringing a sober buddy and keeping your attention on your group.

The best practice for beginning most things is assessment, and becoming sober curious is no exception. Start your exploration by considering your current drinking habits and how they affect your life and health. You can journal or take a self-assessment. If you want something more specific, you may be able to order or download templates to prompt or guide you through this step.

Once you’ve nailed down what you’re currently drinking, consider the ways you want to modify it. Modification can be choosing alcohol-free days when you would normally drink (happy hour after work, weekend chill, wedding season, etc.) or tackling months in which you skip the booze (Dry January/July, Sober September/October). While there are trends for many of these options, you can also DIY and design your own version.

Replacing your standard drink order with a non-alcoholic one is a popular choice, and businesses are taking notice. Companies offer a range of non-alcoholic beers and wines to consumers. Bars and restaurants often list mocktails as an option on their menus. Sans Bar, a popular sober hangout in Austin, Texas, uses ginger beer in many drinks to give the burn that recovering alcoholics might miss. Locations like Austin and New York City have options for those who want the social atmosphere you find in bars without the toll of getting drunk.

To broaden your perspective on sober curiosity, consider education. Read sober curious literature or join online communities with engaging conversations about going alcohol-free. This research is a great way to pick up tips on maintaining your lifestyle, finding fun alternatives and handling intrusive questions.

As you set personal boundaries around drinking alcohol, understand that these can be as flexible as you wish. They may fluctuate as you progress, and allowing for that can be helpful. You can also find tools for sober curiosity, like mobile phone apps or sober-curious podcasts. Use apps to track your moods and health, and listen to podcasts while you work out or go about your day.

Sometimes life throws a curveball. For example, suppose you began a sober curious journey only to discover that it’s more of a struggle than expected. In that case, you may need greater assistance than what’s available in your current community groups.

Seek professional help or treatment if going sober curious comes with any of these challenges:

• Inability to moderate or quit drinking
• Experiencing withdrawal symptoms, which can range from minor to severe
• Using alcohol to cope with stress, trauma or mental health issues
• Drinking affects personal or professional life, leaving you unable to perform everyday tasks

When these impacts appear on your radar, it’s time to go deeper. A counselor or addiction specialist can help you explore your options and understand what may be happening. You can also use PsyWeb to find alcohol rehab or mental health treatment centers or outpatient programs with a free directory and representatives available 24/7.

Support for mindful drinking is abundant online and in-person, depending on your preferences and location. You can figure out what works best for you by trying a few groups to see how well they support your goals.

Popular stops for the sober curious community and accountability:

• Online forums and sober-curious Facebook groups
• Instagram communities and hashtags
• Meetup events for non-drinking socialization

Platforms started as part of the sober curious movement, including Tempest, Club Soda and The Luckiest Club, grew from the books published by Holly Whitaker, Ruby Warrington and Laura McKowen, respectively. In 2022, Monument purchased the Tempest platform to add to its AUD recovery program, making it one of the most comprehensive available for anyone interested in drinking less.

Connecting with sober curious groups and online communities can give you a sense of belonging as you pursue your goals. Peer support can be motivating and affirming, whether you seek to make alcohol-free living short-term or permanent.

First of all, congratulations on taking steps to live healthier! As you dig into this sober curious journey, know that you’ll face many hiccups, but also that you can access myriad support. If you feel that you may need more help than you’re able to get on your own, contact professional help, especially if you can’t seem to moderate your habits alone or think you may have larger issues regarding alcohol.

Even if being sober curious seems like a good fit, you may still find it helpful to explore clinical support or a more structured treatment plan. PsyWeb can help regardless of what level you’re at.

PsyWeb is a reliable source for:

• Locating treatment centers (inpatient, outpatient, detox)
• Verifying insurance coverage for addiction treatment
• Connecting with mental health and addiction professionals
• Exploring programs for both moderate use and diagnosed addiction

No part of becoming sober curious or seeking treatment for alcohol addiction has to be done alone. While there are things that you must do for yourself, you can still access help to get through the work.